Have you ever just had one of those days where you question your true hair color? Mother nature has given me the gift of dark hair, yet by nature, I am a BLONDE! With that being said, here is a 10 step guide on being a true blue, through and through, BLONDE!
Here is a scenario applicable while running errands:
Step 1. Let your overly irritable daughter who hates the car, play with a set of keys, only so she can chuck them into places of the car undiscovered by human eyes.
Step 2. While exiting the vehicle, make a mental note of the general direction the keys disappeared to.
Step 3. Enjoy your shopping because lets face it blonde's, THAT is what we do best.
Step 4. Return to car to continue errand extravaganza.
(now this is where it gets tricky gals, concentrate!)
Step 5. As you search for your keys while balancing your loot and kid in tow, remember you only made a mental note of where your little ankle biter threw the keys, and you realize in horror, that yes, you locked your keys in the car.
Step 6. Arrange for a lock smith to come rescue you...and wait...and wait...and wait.
Step 7. Pay the the locksmith in shinning armor 50 dollars for his noble services and send him on his way, Because you find out only to late that the local police department will do it for no charge.
Step 8. Retrieve your keys from the abyss that has held them hostage, only to find the key to the ignition is not on the key ring, because you now relize, how could it be if you gave them to your child in the back seat, while you were driving the car in the front seat?
Step 9. Open the pocket of your diaper bag where your keys usually are placed, and voila! The mystery to the keys has been solved. The blondest part is, that there is no mystery, because they were where you always have them!
Step 10. Relish in your blondness because you and only you could accomplish something as impossibly grandeur as this!
(The event's recorded are actual events from the life of a true blue, through and through blonde who at this time would like to remain anonymous. Future step programs will be available soon from the same source... because..."who ever" was capable of this is, it's just a matter of time when something else will hit the fan.)