Have you ever just had one of those days where you question your true hair color? Mother nature has given me the gift of dark hair, yet by nature, I am a BLONDE! With that being said, here is a 10 step guide on being a true blue, through and through, BLONDE!
Here is a scenario applicable while running errands:
Step 1. Let your overly irritable daughter who hates the car, play with a set of keys, only so she can chuck them into places of the car undiscovered by human eyes.
Step 2. While exiting the vehicle, make a mental note of the general direction the keys disappeared to.
Step 3. Enjoy your shopping because lets face it blonde's, THAT is what we do best.
Step 4. Return to car to continue errand extravaganza.
(now this is where it gets tricky gals, concentrate!)
Step 5. As you search for your keys while balancing your loot and kid in tow, remember you only made a mental note of where your little ankle biter threw the keys, and you realize in horror, that yes, you locked your keys in the car.
Step 6. Arrange for a lock smith to come rescue you...and wait...and wait...and wait.
Step 7. Pay the the locksmith in shinning armor 50 dollars for his noble services and send him on his way, Because you find out only to late that the local police department will do it for no charge.
Step 8. Retrieve your keys from the abyss that has held them hostage, only to find the key to the ignition is not on the key ring, because you now relize, how could it be if you gave them to your child in the back seat, while you were driving the car in the front seat?
Step 9. Open the pocket of your diaper bag where your keys usually are placed, and voila! The mystery to the keys has been solved. The blondest part is, that there is no mystery, because they were where you always have them!
Step 10. Relish in your blondness because you and only you could accomplish something as impossibly grandeur as this!
(The event's recorded are actual events from the life of a true blue, through and through blonde who at this time would like to remain anonymous. Future step programs will be available soon from the same source... because..."who ever" was capable of this is, it's just a matter of time when something else will hit the fan.)
4 comments:
That's so funny!! I'm totally laughing right now.
If it makes you feel any better I've locked my kids in the car, with it running. . . TWICE! (This was either when they were young in car seats or once when it was only Lucy in a car seat, so no one could unbuckle and unlock the door). Yeah, figure that one out.
I hit the "lock" switch, not unlock, when I got out of the car. Once it was at a stop sign exiting our neighborhood because I was just running to check if I had something in the back of the car. Well, I really ended up with a crying kid in the car. . . and no mommy in the car.
Both times I've learned that you can call the non-emergency police number and the fire department has opened if for me. Yes, fire engine and all!!! Since the car is running with a child inside they will respond (quickly). . . and they have to fill out a report to document their assistance (I only hope that they don't compare reports and realize I've done this before).
And it even gets better when people in the ward pull up behind you and rush to the scene wondering what's wrong. And all that makes you do is start to cry. And then they REALLY think something is wrong. And then when you can finally talk they wonder why you're crying because nothing is really wrong.
You're in good company, girl!!!
Oh my gosh, that's too funny! That's so me too though, I finally had to make my hair blonde to match my true self! Oh, and the blondeness gets even worse with each child you have! I think I need to stop at just 2! :)
Jack, that was so cute, and I totally understand!!
That is so funny Jos! I love how you wrote about it-I can just picture it!
I wanted to let you know that I'm making our blog private, and so if you'll leave me your e-mail in a comment on my blog or e-mail it to me (Breanneo@gmail.com), I'll make sure to invite you to read it! Thanks.
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